Apparently the Caps Lock key is stuck. Why would a “senior staff” not proofread his message and use better grammar?
GOOD MORNING.
DONT BE OFFENDED IF I MAY HAVE DISTURBED YOUR DAILY ACTIVITIES.
MY NAME IS MR NOEL PANGA, I AM A BANKER, AND I WORK WITH THE AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK AS A SENIOR STAFF. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON A BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE VERY BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US AT THE END OF THE TRANSACTION .
DURING OUR INVESTIGATION AND AUDITING IN THIS BANK, MY DEPARTMENT CAME ACROSS A VERY HUGE SUM OF MONEY BELONGING TO A DECEASED PERSON WHO DIED IN A PLANE CRASH AND THE FUND HAS BEEN DORMANT IN HIS ACCOUNT WITH THIS BANK WITHOUT ANY CLAIM OF THE FUND IN OUR CUSTODY EITHER FROM HIS FAMILY OR RELATION BEFORE OUR DISCOVERY TO THIS DEVELOPMENT.
THE SAID AMOUNT WAS U.S 18.4M (EIGHTEEN MILLION,FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS). AS IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW, I GOT YOUR IMPRESSIVE CONTACTS THROUGH INTERNET. MEANWHILE ALL THE WHOLE ARRANGEMENT TO PUT CLAIM OVER THIS FUND AS THE BONAFIDE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED, AND TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE. THE DIRECTIVES AND NEEDED INFORMATION WILL BE RELAYED TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU INDICATE YOUR INTEREST AND WILLINGNESS TO ASSIST ME, AND ALSO BENEFIT YOUR SELF TO THIS GREAT BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.
IN FACT I COULD HAVE DONE THIS DEAL ALONE BUT BECAUSE OF MY POSITION IN THIS COUNTRY AS A CIVIL SERVANT(A BANKER),WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO OPERATE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT AND WOULD EVENTUALLY RAISE AN EYE BROW ON MY SIDE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER BECAUSE I WORK IN THIS BANK. THIS IS THE ACTUAL REASON WHY IT WILL REQUIRE A SECOND PARTY OR FELLOW WHO WILL FORWARD CLAIMS AS THE NEXT OF KIN WITH AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST OF OATH TO THE BANK AND ALSO PRESENT A FOREIGN ACCOUNT WHERE HE WILL NEED THE MONEY TO BE RE-TRANSFERRED INTO ON HIS REQUEST AS IT MAY BE AFTER DUE VERIFICATION AND CLARIFICATION BY THE CORRESPONDENT BRANCH OF THE BANK WHERE THE WHOLE MONEY WILL BE REMITTED FROM TO YOUR OWN DESIGNATION BANK ACCOUNT.
I WILL NOT FAIL TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.ON SMOOTH CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION, YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 40% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION, WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF EXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER AND ALSO TELEPHONE AND INTERNET BILLS, WHILE 50% WILL BE FOR ME. PLEASE, YOU HAVE BEEN ADVICED TO KEEP “TOP SECRET” AS I AM STILL IN SERVICE AND INTEND TO RETIRE FROM SERVICE AFTER WE CONCLUDE THIS DEAL WITH YOU.
I WILL BE MONITORING THE WHOLE SITUATION HERE IN THIS BANK UNTIL YOU CONFIRM THE MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT AND ASK ME TO COME DOWN TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR SUBSEQUENT SHARING OF THE FUND ACCORDING TO PERCENTAGES PREVIOUSLY INDICATED AND FURTHER INVESTMENT, EITHER IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ANY COUNTRY YOU ADVICE US TO INVEST IN. ALL OTHER NECESSARY VITAL NFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU WHEN I HEAR FROM YOU.
IF THE TRANSACTION INTEREST YOU, GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO CALL YOU SO WE COULD PROCEED.
THANKS.
MR NOEL PANGA.
I went to the open house and met the realtor/owner’s wife. I disclosed my interest in the place and, as there were no other customers at the time, she showed me around and we chatted. They had taken out a couple of walls and put in an addition so its made the place roomier. Very nice. I guess the only thing I contributed to the house was upgrading the attic insulation when there was a government program back in the 1980’s. I should do the same thing at my present house.
Occasionally, I walk the dog past our old house we sold in 1988 about 2 or 3 km away. It is now for sale and the asking price is 250% more than we sold it for. IMHO, the price is way above the street: a combination of single car-single family homes and semi-detached dwellings. They probably used a summer picture of the back of the house to hide these details. (So, I hid the realtor details 
).
I see my variagated euonymous is still growing there and I know the red maple sapling I planted is now a sizeable tree just behind from where the photo was taken. I think I’ll dress up a bit tomorrow and go to the open house.
Got my picture taken, got 3 colleagues to be guarantor and friends, lined up at the Passport Office on Wednesday. “Did you know your current passport doesn’t expire until 2008?”
Even though I had mentioned getting a passport several times and I looked for it and couldn’t find it — assuming it was expired and shredded. Turns out my wife had “hidden” it for safekeeping. Sure enough, there’s another year and half to go.
Sigh…
I read the fine manual and found out how to shoot a video with my digital camera. Here’s Finnegan licking a pie plate:
We renovated by: buying a new couch for the living room. (I bought myself a tripod just after Christmas.)
Buying a new TV stand with drawers from IKEA and moving the TV and old couch downstairs.
Getting rid of the old wall unit (bought back in the days of turntables and LPs) and having the piano moved upstairs to my wife’s “studio”, the former family room. (It was about 18 years ago when me and 3 or 4 friends moved the piano down to the basement when we moved in. I think I’m just as strong now; however, I’d like to think I’m much wiser, too, so we hired pros to move it this time.)